Ranma Ends It All!
by SSJAniFan
Summary: Kasumi finds Ranma, who is a complete wreck. When he tells her he's going to end it all, what does he mean? Not the way you'd think!


RANMA ENDS IT ALL!  
  
Disclaimer: Rumiko Takahashi owns Ranma 1/2. All other characters belong to their respective creators.  
  
Ranma came in to the Tendo household, looking like a complete mess. His face had a few bruises and cuts, his clothes were torn, and his hair was messed up. All in all, he looked quite pathetic.  
  
Kasumi came to the entrance to greet the person there. When she saw who it was, she had quite a concerned look on her face. "Oh, Ranma! Are you okay? You look horrible!"  
  
Ranma gave a short sigh. "Hey, Kasumi. Sorry, I'm just having a bad day."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"One of the usual. Akane had been going to the market for some reason. I guess she had volunteered to make a side dish, and she asked me to try some. Well, I panicked, and said I wasn't going to be eating dinner. She figured out why, I guess, and started to get into 'Angry Akane' form. Then, Shampoo happened to show up, and did the usual, 'oh Ranma, you take Shampoo on date?,' thing, and that set Akane on. But before she could hit me or splash Shampoo or anything, Mousse showed up and attacked me, since it turned out he had been following her to ask her out as well. Ryoga happened to wander in at that point, and saw me trying to dodge that blind idiot's blows, and I still had Shampoo latched onto me, so he decided to do his usual, Ranma, how dare you betray Akane,' routine, and joined in the fray as well."  
  
"Oh my. So then what happened?"  
  
"The freak happened to also show up, just as Akane started to jive about me not picking on Ryoga. Picking on him? HE attacked me! Anyway, Happosai wanted to splash me and put a bra on me as usual, so I had to contend with him too. Then Kuno and Kodachi turned up. As it turned out, they were in an argument and Kodachi had chased him right to where we currently were. Then Gosunkugi, of all people, comes in with a 'magic formula,' which as it turned out, was nothing but pepper, so it of course causes half of the town to start sneezing like crazy. Then Hinako-sensei happened to walk by and saw all of the ruckus, and of course decided it was delinquents causing trouble. She drained about half of the people there, including Ryoga, Mousse, Kuno, Kodachi, and the freak. I barely got out of the way. As it turned out, Akane did too, and malleted me into thin air because she blamed me for causing all the trouble. ME! Why? I didn't ask for any of the trouble to happen? Why does she always think it's my fault?"  
  
"Well, maybe it's the fact that you didn't tell her about your curse. I don't honestly know. I wish I could say, but I don't."  
  
"Thanks, Kasumi. But it doesn't help. I'm tired. I'm tired of all the crap that happens to me. I'm tired of all those girls fighting over me. I'm tired of being attacked by all of these damn rivals. I'm tired of that pervert. I'm tired of being manipulated by Pop. I'm tired of being hit by Akane, or malleted, or having her splash Shampoo just to change her into her c-c-cat form to scare me. I just can't deal with it anymore. Kasumi, I never thought I'd say this but..... I have to have some peace, one way or another. I've decided.... today, I'm ending it all. Good-bye, Kasumi." And with that, Ranma ran out of the house.  
  
Kasumi watched him for a few seconds, wondering what he meant. "He's ending it all? What does that........" Suddenly, a dark thought came into her mind. Ranma has seemed so depressed..... what if he really would end it all? "Ranma, you aren't really going to do that. Please, don't...." But he was. Ranma was ending it all for himself.  
  
#########  
  
Three hours later, a letter was sent to the offices of one Rumiko Takahashi. It read:  
  
Dear Takahashi-san: I QUIT!!!!!!  
  
Signed, Ranma Saotome.  
  
Well, how's that? This is spoofing all those fics where Ranma gets fed up with his life and tries to kill himself. Of course, this isn't the end of the fic. There's still the epilogue.......  
  
EPILOGUE: THE REPLACEMENT  
  
Ranma strolled through the streets of Japan. Takahashi had agreed to him quitting, but said somebody would have to take his place. Ranma had thought about it for awhile. He wanted to quickly find a replacement as soon as possible. He quickly remembered the people he had decided to not replace him: A person made of rubber who said he was a pirate, a bounty hunter who knew some martial arts, and some crazy girl who was rambling about taking over a city, eating a dog, and constantly talking about someone called "Illapistachio," or something like that. Now it was almost sunset. He still hadn't found somebody. If he didn't find someone soon, he'd have to wait until tomorrow to find a replacement.  
  
Just then, he accidentally bumped into someone. "Oh, sorry. Didn't see you."  
  
Ranma looked to see who the person was. When he made contact, he stopped. The person who he had bumped into looked a little..... odd. However, he did sort of look like Ranma himself. And when he had spoken, it had been very similar to Ranma's voice. Maybe this person would do.... quickly, Ranma spoke up.  
  
"Oh, no problem. Hey, who are you?"  
  
"Me? Nobody, really. I'm just someone looking for a job. That's all."  
  
"Oh, a job? What kind of job?," Ranma asked, hoping to dupe the guy as soon as possible.  
  
"Oh, I'm just looking for something that has some.... I don't know, some excitement. Something where my life wouldn't be boring. Something where I'd meet a lot of new people."  
  
Ranma smiled. He had just found his patsy. "Well, maybe I could help..... what's your name, anyway?"  
  
"My name? Oh, Inu-Yasha."  
  
"Well, Inu-Yasha, I have just the job for you......."  
  
THAT'S IT! Anyway, just an early short fic I once wrote, before even Kuwabara's Revenge. Hope you liked it. Oh, and in case you couldn't tell, the characters mentioned in the first paragraph of THE REPLACEMENT were Monkey D. Luffy(One Piece), Spike Spiegel(Cowboy Bebop), and Excel Excel(Excel Saga). 


End file.
